Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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