My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
