You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like abortions should bother me more
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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