...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
