so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
