You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
