I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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