Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
