Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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