He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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