Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got inside last night via doggy door
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
