My brain says no but my pants say off.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need a beard to bite.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
