Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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