the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
