Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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