I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think your dad took our porno
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
