I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
