you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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