i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
