gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Couch. On fire.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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