I'm going to jail i love you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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