when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
