I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
