are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
