I looked at my own cervix.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Drake has all the answers
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
