youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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