I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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