I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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