I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
only if we run a train.
done.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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