TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
