oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
