he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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