I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
