fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That accounts for only three of the penises
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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