Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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