His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
