I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
