you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
