hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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