i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
