Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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