God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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