He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Omg I joined a choir last night...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
