is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
