she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i love accidental penises.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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