Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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