i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
