got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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