peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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