I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
