so explain again why im purple
no
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
