how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
