I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
