maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
