This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
