Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
