I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
