oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
