Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
