i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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