4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
love makes seman taste better
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
