hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
