Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
