This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
