So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
