I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
