this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
