dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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